Striving, striving pushing onward
never taking time to really rest.
So much to do, so little time
I’m always running behind the best.
My life is filled with so many shoulds
the “ought tos” overwhelm
and yet I see now that it is because
it was me instead of God at the helm
Past deep hurts kept me from thriving.
I believed the lie that I had to conform
and out of that hurt came incessant striving
to prove, to do, to perform
Nothing was ever quite good enough,
things always could have been better
I thought if I just worked more, was tough
I might be set free from this fetter.
And so I tried and tried to work harder
priding myself in not taking vacation
trying to make myself feel better
about my desperate internal situation
But now I’ve discovered that the answer is not
in trying to do more for the world
but rather to cease striving, to stop
to get to know God through His Word.
As I do I’ll understand also more about me
about who I am and how to live free
from the burdens of bitterness I’ve been caring within
from the lies I believed, and from the weight of sin
By comprehending the depth of His incredible love
I’ll gain understanding of myself from above
and be able to live in complete freedom
instead of idolatry of work for His Kingdom
What I had hoped would make me feel good:
accomplishment, fame, sex, money and food
those never filled that void deep within me
which was God-shaped; now filled. I am free.
Striving, striving today it must cease
the “shoulds” and “ought tos” must go away
instead of always trying others to please
I can draw near to the Life, the Truth, the Way
© 2021 Lukas Westevy