Confusion. sadness. There’s so much pain.
I ask: will things ever get better again?
How did we get here? What caused this fuss?
Some wounds were unwillingly inflicted upon us.
Other wounds were our own poor choices.
And now we suffer the inevitable consequences.
Oh to be able to do it over again, with intention!
Would I really act differently, change the direction?
There’s still so much left to be done, despite the good start,
in my core, in the deepest crevices of my soul, in my heart,
I’m in desperate need of healing, of forgiveness, and of grace
I long to be known, and loved, and interact face to face
There’s so much more I need to learn about myself
The triggers, the false self-image, my own health,
the spiritual side, the physical, the emotional one,
and harmful behaviors that need to be undone
transforming unhealthy thinking patterns
to something new …that really matters
to treat other people with love and respect,
acknowledging God’s beauty in every aspect
to be bold to say “No” to what I don’t really have to do
and to say “Yes!” to those things I really DO need to do
to shift my focus from self-pleasure and satisfaction
which often leads to selfishness and distraction
to replace that with a true love for Jesus
and understanding how He really sees us
to be completely transformed from the inside out,
molded, and learning what life really is about
to grow in disdain for sin
to be changed, deep within
to no longer seek the pleasure this world has to offer
but instead to become somewhat of a scoffer
when I’m tempted to sin that I might then remember
my adoption by God, where my true home is forever
I’m on this planet only just for a little while
and it feels like waste has been my primary style
I wasted so much time on earthly pleasures
at the expense of His plan: love without measure
The wounds from my past have caused me to seek
some kind of temporary relief, nearly every week
when instead I could have gone to the great Healer
to be cleaned, and purified by that Master Feeler
who was tempted in every way, yet without sin
and is able to help those being tempted within
oh Marvelous Restorer of my hurting soul
fill me today completely, make me whole!
© Lukas Westevy
2021