I want to cry but no tears come
A new season has begun
and yet I keep wanting to cling to the past,
hoping that the good aspects of it will last.
I feel that lump in my throat
and hope that I can stay afloat.
I know that crying might help me heal
when I pour out all that I feel…
But it just doesn’t happen.
Try as I might I can’t make myself cry
perhaps someone first has to die.
Maybe that someone is actually me
internally at least, that I might be free…
…free from fear, and all that gets in the way
of me expressing myself in some way.
I know crying can help and I think I’m willing.
The bliss of releasing, it would be thrilling!
But it just hasn’t happened—yet.
Someday I know it will all come out
like a waterfall gushing, or a large spout.
At some moment, perhaps inopportune
I’ll grieve, regardless of who’s in the room.
And then I’ll feel better, relieved, if you may,
and who knows? I might even say
“thanks be to God who allowed all the pain
knowing that in the end I’ll actually gain”
For trials, they grow us and make us strong
as we get close to God, to Whom we belong
He is always faithful, and we are His vase
precious to Him. Let’s seek His face!
© 2023 Lukas Westevy